Lupercalia 2009

I just returned from an awesome BDSM conference in Edmonton, Canada and thought that I would write about My experience. Amazing, I am writing about an experience I had within a week of that experience rather than waiting for 6 or 8 months ;)
Initially when I was invited to go to Lupercalia I really thought I would be packing for My new home in California so I did not make plans to go. Well, once I realized that I was not moving to California as quickly as I thought, then the idea of attending Lupercalia really started to form in My brain.
Thanks to some additional prodding and poking by the Luper Team and the folks who had gone previously, I decided that I needed to go check out this notorious conference. And I am so glad that I did.

As a conference organizer its always good to go to other conferences to see how they do it and to steal good ideas. Thanks to the Luper Team I felt like a Diva the entire weekend even though I was not a presenter. I got to hang out with several of the presenters and people were thoughtful enough to make sure I was included in the happenings. One of the goodies that happened was that I was Louise's date for the Saturday nite dinner. A very hot Leather Dyke that I had been hoping to spend some time with. (Thanks Jim for arranging that). Dinner was great and I got to meet Laura Antoniou and her lovely partner. Funny how half the people at our table work in Social Services/Social Work in their real lives.

Okay, so back up to Friday night for a moment. I am still twitterpaited by My date and later play with Louise so I am trying to stay on track here!

Because I did not spend much time attending social events in high school or college, I had never attended a Toga Party before. I took the easy way out and rented a costume. I just could not see how wrapping Myself in a bed sheet would look all that sexy. I've posted a pic of the top half of my outfit. It was comfy and sexy at the same time. The "marketplace" was full of Kinky Games and My job was to have people place as many clothespins on a stuffed bear named Oscar as one could place in 30 seconds. Amazing how many submissives really could not do this until I assured them I would take Oscar the teddy bear back to My room for appropriate aftercare. The winning number of clothes pins was 24 in 30 seconds. Not bad!

There was a yummy fashion show and a wonderful hook suspension with Rowan, Elwood and Louise. I've seen this before and its still mesmerizing to Me. After the suspension, I stopped into their room to offer some aftercare and nuzzling before I went to bed with Oscar.

Saturday was full of great workshops. One in particular that I have to comment on. I've been to lots of needle workshops and workshops that included blood but I had never been to a workshop with FifthAngel. He is infamous in the community so I was excited to see his class. I learned a whole new way to introduce blood into My play and I can't wait to try out the new techniques that I learned. There was a moment, I have to admit, where I thought I might just pass out.....and I am a blood LOVER! Anyone that can do that to Me has My respect and admiration!

Saturday night's play party started with the usual Dyke cocksucking but because there were rules regarding "no insertion in the dungeon" we had to be careful not to get our hosts into trouble ;)...honestly, tell a Leather Dyke that she can't do something and its just going to cause all sorts of rebellious thoughts and behaviors! HA! Inspite of the rule we had some fun in the dungeon. Louise and I co-topped Rowan and Estrellada with knives, police gloves, single tails, dragon's tongue and boots. It was sexy, edgy, spontaneous and hot. Then we took the party to My room ;).....nope, not gonna tell!

Sunday I went to a lovely brunch, schmoozed with people, talked up Wicked Womyn 2009 and went back to My room for some much needed down time. It meant that I had to miss a couple of workshops but I knew I had an intense scene coming up in the evening so I had to rest. Sunday evening, after a quiet dinner in My room, I was pierced with hooks by Elwood and then he threw Me to the Lesbians. Damn, I just hate when that happens.........LOL. It was a very intense scene and My apologies if I was the loudest one in the dungeon for the duration of the scene. I had some shit to get out ;)and thats why I am an intense player. Psychology in the dungeon? Bring it on......thats why I am a switch!

My most tender moment had to be the next morning when I knocked on Louise's door and she and Estrellada just very quietly removed all of My clothing and put Me in bed between the two of them. Next, Rowan joined us so there were four naked, gorgeous women in bed.

The most priceless moment: the look on Elwood's face when he came into the room and saw four naked women in bed.

My thanks to the Lupercalia Team for taking such good care of Me and the rest of their guests. Can I have more, please?

Vancouver Spirit and Flesh Hook Pull

I just received some precious pictures from the hook pull that I did in August 2008 and it reminded Me that I hadn't blogged about it.

This was an exercise in patience, going with the flow and trusting that our hosts knew what they were doing. Thankfully, this was the case as it was a very very long day but worth every second.

For us, it was a drive across the border into Canada. The next morning we were up at 6am getting ready to take a couple of ferries to a mystical place called Salt Spring. After we landed, then it was about an hour wait for a dusty old van to come and get us and take us to the private property where the hook pull was happening.

There were some initial delays that could not be helped but once we got there, the crew was amazingly quick at getting stations set up for insertion of hooks into about 45 people. Additionally, you could have limes sutured into your back for the "ball dance".

I've asked the question "why limes?" and this is what I am told:

1. they have some nice weight to them
2. they are disposable once you are finished
3. they smell great when cut open in the middle of your pull

The space was literally a cliff overlooking the ocean. It was a beautifully warm, sunny day but our spot had some nice shade to it.

First we did a circle honoring the space and the pagan, wiccan, christian, etc spiritual beings to help us walk our path that day. Then we passed through the altar and were smudged before we walked into the ritual space.

I don't ever remember being that in touch with the beauty around Me but I was that day. I don't have the words to describe it. I had a choice to connect with a tree, a piece of driftwood, another person or three or to just feel the hooks and the limes as they rolled across My back.

I did all of these things. I cried, I laughed, I danced with a tree, I pulled----hard----on my hooked flesh, I sat quietly, I watched others, I smoked a cigar, I listened to the drummers who never stopped.

After about two hours it was time to have the hooks and the limes removed, to eat some protein and drink some water and head back in the dusty old van to the last ferry off the island and back to civilization. We were very different people on the way home. We connected with each other in a very unique way. Due to protecting other's identities, I can only post one or two pics of the experience. You will just have to trust Me on the report.....it was amazing.

Self Care, Balance,Change, and Standing Still in the chaos

Self Care: The act of truly caring for ones self as difficult as that may be on some days. It comes with honesty, speaking up, speaking out, follow through and some sort of movement.

My life has been in a cycle of change and introspection lately. And I got to do an additional hook pull in August. I will report on that in another post to try to keep some semblance of it all making sense.

My own self care now includes working out at the gym at leat three times a week and one day with a trainer. I finally saw a naturopath and she had some amazing things to tell me about myself and put me on some supplements that seem to have made some difference. Massage about once a week and I had one month off from work over the summer. That was probably the most amazing thing I have experienced in many years. Yes, I do have a real job......one that is intense and that I have been doing for about 10 years. I honestly can't remember the last time I had one month to myself. It was the best!

I got in a fair amount of riding over the summer but the most curious thing happened. I finally changed out the foot pegs for some cool looking foot boards and that changed the way I sat on the bike. Though it helped so much with the lower half of my body, now I am dealing with sore shoulders, sore neck and numb hands much sooner on a long ride then ever before. I can't help but wonder if the body shift with the new boards has been just enough to make the upper half of my body sitting at the wrong angle. I think someone should open a business that handles the ergonomics of motorcycle comfort.

Update, random thoughts and a Hook Suspension/Blood Party Report

Lets see..........what have I done since January you ask? Well, enough so that I haven't had time to blog AND do all the other sorts of fun, cool stuff that I get to do.

Business has been sort of slow, which really wasn't that bad other than the financial burden it can place not having that lovely extra pocket change that My business brings in. I've taught a few classes, been to a few kink parties but mostly I just took a break and tried out staying home and NOT spending money. How did that go?

Well, it was actually more challenging than I thought it would be. I recognized that I have been very fortunate and for the last five years I have done what I wanted to do, gone where I wanted to go, bought what I wanted to buy and really did not have any financial suffering (or responsibility). I do have some choices still but they are different. I am trying to learn the value the almighty dollar. I am trying to keep my money in my pocket and learn how to delay the instant gratification. Its been hard! I have not been on a shopping spree of any kind since January. I am in recognition of just how much it costs to keep up this body on a daily basis.

Consider the costs of regular eyebrow waxing, haircuts, manicures, pedicures, lotions, potions, make up, and hair products. That alone costs a penny or two and those are just the basics!

Add in the fact that I needed new glasses, new sunglasses, dental work, medical copays that are becoming more significant and one starts to say Fuck! This shit is expensive! Now in the NW we have gas approaching the $4 mark. When the hell are the Democrats coming? This administration is killing us financially!

My motorycycle now has more than 12,000 miles on it and I need new tires. I WANT new pipes, new air cleaner, passenger back rest and a tent for summer camping on the bike. So I guess its time to get off my lazy ass, do some shameless self promotion, get some asses in here to beat, schedule a few more classes and hope for the sun!

I will be teaching my Strap On/Anal Sex class at the Wetspot on May 17th. Here is the blurb for it. Come on down and learn all there is to learn about strappin it on! You might learn a thing or two ;)

Strap On 101
What: How to use toys and harnesses for anal play
Schedule: Saturday, May 17
When: 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM
Where: At the Wet Spot
Who: 18+.
Cost: $25


Description:


Please join Mistress Marry's HOT class on Strap-On Play!

Mistress Marry will present a stimulating and sexy discussion about Strap-On Sex and Anal Sex. You will learn the power behind strappin' it on, how to prepare your bottom, how to get the most out of your Strap-On, the different ways to use your Strap-On, what works with what and lots of other how to's. If you have one, please bring it, wear it, and be ready to share it! If you have one and are not quite sure what to do with it, this class is for YOU! This class is open to all genders!

Blood Play Party and Suspension Hook/Energy Pull Report

So those crazy kids Rena and Elwood came back to Seattle for the Quarterly Blood Party. Elwood, Rena, Amus and Don came down to do a performance art piece, a class on Safety in the Dungeon and then there was a party to spill some blood. For more information on Elwood and his Body Piercing/Modification see my November and January posts for his information.

I felt very honored to be part of the support team for their Suspension Hook Visual Feast. This is not an easy thing to pull off, especially when you come from another country (Canada) and are doing it in a place where you've never done it before, with people that you've never done it with before. Amus first pierced Elwood in his back with 4, 8 gauge hooks. Then he pierced Amus and Rena with 2 each 10 gauge hooks in their chest/breast tissue. The CD began and Tool and Marilyn Manson blasted from the speakers. There was a good size crowd. Rena and Amus slowly lifted Elwood off the ground with their hooks connected to his via some nice rope. I can only say that it was a visual spectacal for the eyes and kept everyone transfixed on the participants for almost an hour. Energetically, it was amazing to be part of this scene. It made me want to do my own hook pull even more.

I first witnessed this type of "energy pull" about two years ago at a women's kinky campout that I helped to organize. We drummed and called to the spirit world, it was outdoors at a very spiritual place and I was again asked to be someone's support person for this journey. At that moment I was intrigued and scared of it, but knew that I would eventually go on this journey myself.

There was an opportunity to do this again at Wicked Womyn but I had way too much on my plate already and I really wanted to control the energy exchange.......I'm told I have trouble letting go and that I have control issues so of course, I wanted to control the setting in which I was to completely let go.............duh!

This was the right evening for me to experience this journey. I had the right people to pierce and help me on this powerful, solitary journey. I have had some pretty intense experiences with piercing lately. I had four people put 256 needles in Me at Wicked Womyn. It took 20 minutes. It took about 2 minutes to pull them all out. Since then, I haven't really been interested in being pierced.

But I felt that this would be a different kind of intense experience and restore my desire to have sharp pointy things poked into My skin. If the idea is that you need more and more to achieve the same feelings of an endorphin rush or high, where does it end? Hmmmmm. I was truly concerned that I had lost the desire and I was sad about that. There is an energy exchange and intimacy that comes from being in a play piercing scene that is very different from other S/m experiences I have had over the years. I've bonded with people over needles and blood.

Those experiences are carved in My psyche as positive, pushing the limits, energy immersion, spiritual and intense. For Me, this particular hook pull was a catalyst for some badly needed introspection into why I was in some destructive relationships and that ending those relationships was what I needed to do. My feet never left the ground but I held My own weight and got back in touch with My warrior woman. She's been missing in action lately and I am on a quest to find her again. Even though there was a room full of people, I was alone with My own energy, My own quest and My own spiritual place. My friends held onto the rope and Me but let Me control how much I pulled, for how long, how much weight I put on the hooks and stretched My skin and when I ready to be done. When I was done, I was a tender noodle emotionally and needed more after care than I've ever needed before. I was a puddle for quite a few days.
Each time I look at My beautiful 12 gauge hooks, I relive the experience.

Cock And Ball Torture Class and other classes comin up!

Extreme Sensations of the Boy Bits February 9th, 2008 from 1-3 at Lover's Lair in Everett Washington!

Is that a little less scary than "Cock and Ball Torture"? I really do not like to use the word "torture" because of the emotion that it brings up for people. Rarely do I actually torture someone's bits!

Would you like to learn how to safely get someone's attention by grabbing their package and doing horribly sexy and challenging things to it? Want to keep your boy on that erotic edge?

Well, you really need to learn some techniques so that you don't break or bore your toy! We will briefly discuss anatomy, what to do, what NOT to do and then there will be a demo of all sorts of rad equipment that you can use on your partner.

Want to learn how to torture girl bits? I will be doing a Female Genitorture class on February 16th at The Wetspot.

I think I am rested enough to catch up.

Aw, who am I kidding? My life has been a continual whirlwind for the last month. Before I launch into what has been keeping Me so busy, I do want to talk about the Sagacity Conference in Victoria and another upcoming and exciting conference in February 08.

So, Sagacity! Well, it was my first time travelling by ferry and going to Victoria. I don't know why I waited so long to get there! Lovely city, lovely people, great kinksters. So I have to admit that since I had never had the chance to meet the Sagacity Crew I was not sure what I was walking into. Lets face it, I am a Queer woman, bringing a very young Trans Boi with Me into another country to do a heavy Genitorture Class. And I was bringing a good portion of My dungeon toys into another country.....and then back into the US.............again, something I had never done before.

I am happy to report that the border crossings on both ends were w/o incident. When they asked Me what My business was, I told them the truth and after just the slightest flicker in their eyes, they told Me to carry on and enjoy My visit. I must say that part of My Sadistic nature is to watch people's responses when I tell them what I do for a living. Its quite hilarious to watch them try to not react or to react in a manner that would be politically correct....whatever that reaction is supposed to look like in their mind.

When we walked in Friday evening there was just a delightful sight: These very Hot, Queer, pierced and tattooed people were doing a suspension hook scene and Tool was playing in the background. I told Sean immediately that I wanted to take them home, take them to bed and just get into trouble with them at some point over the weekend. *just put Tool on so I could relive those memories*

So the crew that we met were Elwood, Rena (Elwood's partner) and Brody and some of their other folks. Elwood is the named successor, predecessor and student of Fakir Musafar who is known as the Father of Modern Body Modification.

To learn more about this man and this movement go here
Fakir Musafar

To learn more about Elwood's Body Modification go here
Elwood's Body Mod

I need to warn you and tell you that these are hot, sexy, sick, twisted, perverted individuals and definitely worth getting to know. If you are interested in any Body Modification, Scarification, Piercing, etc........its worth the trip to Vancouver to see Elwood.

Saturday brought a very busy day of workshops, both my own and Elwood's that I did not want to miss. I had a great turn out for my classes and as always I learn something too. I've decided that it is just not fair to the audience or the bottoms to try to teach male and female genitorture in the same class. They each deserve and require a full two hours to really get into this type of play. I find myself spending too much time on torturing the boy bits and not nearly enough time to totally get into how to torture the girl bits. Not fair to the girls! If you are interested in one of these classes I keep a calendar on my MySpace acct so go here Mistress Marry's Myspace


Saturday night we freaked out the locals and had a good time. A large group of us went out to dinner and then back to the hotel for the big Saturday night play party. Now this is where it gets interesting. Everyone naturally assumes that because I am the Pro Domme, the Sex Educator, the Mistress........that I am exclusively the Top in the D/s kink game. Well, I like to fuck with people's assumptions so I decided that Sean was going to rightousely kick my ass that night. He is a switch also so of course, I turned the tables on him and he became the bottom half-way through the night. HA!

Well lets just say we were both a bloody mess by the end of the night! The picture is the toy explosion that happened on the spare bed in the hotel room when kinksters are playing hard!

Sean and I were treated very well by the Sagacity Group and we hope to be invited back to present again at their yearly Birthday Bash.
Sagacity Group

ReEntry after Sagacity Conference

I'm home, My home changed while I was gone, and I had a great time in Victoria, BC. First, let Me describe one of those Trading Spaces moments that happened this weekend while I was away. This involves a minor confession: I am a disorganized mess. Well, My house is and always has been gently chaotic. I don't have time to organize, I suck at keeping it organized and I don't have time to train a slave to keep it organized for Me. Nor have I met the slave who was ACTUALLY truly serious about being MY slave!
Anyway, I have a dear friend who walked into My house one day and saw a picture of organization and an easier, softer, more friendly way for my house to look. I heard some of her ideas and handed her the keys to the house while I went off to Victoria BC to present at a BDSM Conference this weekend.
You should see this place! I now have a dedicated office area with plenty of room to spread out, get work done and be comfortable. I do have "homework"......a dining room full of crap that I MUST deal with or this will all be for naught!

Just a little on the conference and I'll have to come back to it when I have gotten a sufficient amount of rest. I am finding out that Kinky Boot Camp can really take its toll on you even if you do a good job of pacing yourself.

So here ya go: it was awesome, I was treated like the Diva I am, met some other great educators, played a lot, and am tired and bruised...............ahhh yes, the signs of a great weekend!